Blogging and Venting: Finding Comfort Through Writing and Speaking Out

Join the blogosphere

Every afternoon I check my favorite blogs for updates. It's fascinating to read about the excitement, adventures, and ordinariness of other people's lives. Sometimes, browsing blogs makes my worries seem as small as ants. Other times, it helps me feel more normal. Of course, checking other people's blogs is a bit like being a voyeur, but it's enjoyable.

------Dawn

A blog is a shorthand online journal open to all readers. Some blogs cover everything, while others are about the blogger themselves. Blogs allow you to briefly understand the thoughts of others. Before the internet, people couldn't learn about the private lives of people they didn't know or had never met. But blogs changed that. It's an effective way to make you happy and eliminate boring eating. You can spend a lot of time online researching how others cope with stress eating, looking for tips and advice. Reading about others' struggles with food can truly help you understand yourself. Such reading can also provide new perspectives and remind you that you are not alone in this struggle.

Self-soothing techniques: Blogging

Create your own blog space as a way to process your emotions. The advantage of using a blog instead of a journal is that it's right on your computer desk and easy to use to suit your needs. If sharing your emotions and opinions with the world makes you uncomfortable, you can create a private blog space. You can apply for a free private blog online. Keep your blog centered around a core theme, such as "the struggle between a new mother and food addiction" or anything else that bothers you.

If you're not in the mood to share your thoughts, you can browse some existing blogs online. Surely one will resonate with your situation or be one you'd enjoy reading. You can visit websites about emotional eating. These sites will showcase all the blogs on this topic.

It's important to note that you shouldn't reveal too much personal information, such as your full or real name, or where you live. Also, avoid saying anything that could harm others. Otherwise, you'll put yourself in danger. If you're a teacher or counselor, revealing too much personal information is also highly unprofessional. Avoid providing too many identifiable details. Be careful about the websites you choose, as there's a lot of harmful and inaccurate advice online. You can first consult blogs related to universities, treatment centers, and authors in newspapers or scientific journals.

Self-soothing techniques: Joining social networking sites

Once you join a social networking site, you can connect with everyone on the site. If you've used one or more of these sites, you may have reconnected with old friends or even long-lost family members. You may even have made some new virtual friends. When you feel the urge to eat emotionally, at least send them a message (the message doesn't have to be about food), or look for new friends. After you've sent a message or found new companions, reassess your hunger level.

Helpful ways to vent

When I'm angry, I often eat. I feel better if I can vent my frustrations to someone else. Sometimes I journal, and sometimes I call a close friend. Releasing anger is healthier and more beneficial than eating.

------Tina

Tina is a veterinarian. Every time she drives home, she calls her sister to tell her all the frustrating things that happened that day, how she was overwhelmed by all the pet emergencies and crises. When she gets home, she feels much more relaxed, having detached herself from it all.

Releasing her frustrations from her chest was the way she needed to calm herself down, not the help of sweets.

There are many different ways to vent. Some are helpful, while others are not. Provocative or traditional venting methods (such as throwing things or hitting pillows) can sometimes increase rather than decrease frustration and anger.

A helpful and recommended way to vent is to put your feelings into words. Essentially, this means telling another person about your experiences and emotions. To some extent, having someone listen to you makes you feel good; it makes you feel important because you have something to say. Talking to others also helps you organize a coherent story about your emotions. You organize your chaotic emotions in a way that others can understand. When you vent your emotions, explaining to others why you're upset can be very insightful.

Friends, colleagues, or relatives who allow you to vent offer you their time and attention, allowing you to express your emotions in a controlled and safe manner. Be mindful of this, and also accept their advice and perspectives.

Note that venting is different from problem-solving. Essentially, when you vent, you're not making an effort to solve the problem. From a realistic perspective, some situations are neither solvable nor changeable. For example, you can't get rid of your boss, nor can you change her. You must find a way to deal with her. Venting is your best option in these situations.

If you hope that venting will help you, rather than hurt you, then remember that you need to choose your confidants carefully. The best confidants are close friends or trusted family members. Furthermore, there are some important rules regarding who you shouldn't vent to. Many people carelessly vent their frustrations to colleagues at work, which could be overheard by management; or your problem could become office gossip, making things worse. Another rule is not to vent to those who are causing your bad mood; if you do, venting can easily turn into an attack, even if that's not your intention. This defeats your purpose.

Self-soothing techniques: A guide to venting

When you confide in a friend, first let them know what you're looking for; be specific. You could start the conversation like this: "I'm really frustrated with my emotional overeating, and I'm calling because I need someone..." Your purpose is to fill in the blanks. You might need an empathetic listener, an encourager, or a realistic reminder. Sometimes friends feel they should solve your problems or offer advice. However, the person you're confiding in just needs to listen; they don't need to offer advice or change your situation.

If you don't have anyone to confide in, you can consider writing a letter to someone you want to talk to. But don't send the letter. Writing a letter is safer than sending an email, especially if you don't mail anything at all. Sending emails is too easy and too informal. If you think writing a letter is too much effort, you can talk to yourself in a mirror. If you don't know how to start, you can begin by asking yourself, "Why is this situation upsetting me? Why do I want to vent about it?"

When you only have ice cream for company

If I could call my best friend Mary, she would tell me some harmless rumors to cheer me up and make me forget my craving for ice cream. But she has a very important exam tomorrow, and I don't want to bother her. So I have to cheer myself up. I wish she could be with me anytime. I hate replacing my best friend with food.

------Amy

Sometimes, I feel like there's nothing around me except the ice cream in the fridge. It's 2 a.m., your best friend is on their honeymoon, or you just moved here and haven't made any friends yet. When you need support, you can't find anyone to turn to. Food cravings don't wait until it's convenient for you. So what can you do?

This takes a bit of creativity. Imagine someone who has comforted you in the past, such as your parents, friends, or teachers. (Many teachers are very good at addressing students' personal problems.) This person could be from your past or present life, or even someone who has passed away. Perhaps your grandmother was one of the most supportive people in your life, and even though she has been gone for many years, you still miss her comforting techniques and ability to make you feel better. Perhaps the person who can offer you the most comfort is your doctor. If you are undergoing treatment, as you sit in your doctor's office talking to him about your discomfort, guess what sympathetic words he will use.

Necessary words of support may come from people you've never met, such as characters in books or movies. You may understand the author's life creed and values. For example, if you're a fan of Jane Austen, you've probably read her works and can imagine how she would advise you on resolving problems in your love life.

Most people absorb the words of those close to them. These words have an unconscious influence on them and can comfort them. When I ask a client to imagine what a friend would say to cheer her up, she can always guess. For example, Linda said, “If I’m as down as I am today, I know what my friend Sarah would say to me. She would say, ‘Girl, enough being sad, prepare for ten minutes, we’re going shopping.’” My point is: you don’t have to talk to someone face-to-face to get their comfort.

Self-soothing techniques: Expressing yourself in another way

If you've had a tough day and no one can help you feel better except by eating, here are two exercises you can try:

Write it down. Use a blue pen to write a letter, vividly describing your feelings. Then use a different colored pen to write your response. This response must come from the perspective of a friend or parent. The different colored pens will remind you to see the issue from an outsider's point of view.

Role-playing. If you're a visual person, place an empty chair next to you and imagine your friend is sitting in it. You can even get up and sit in that chair as if you were your friend. You might think it's silly, but after a few minutes, you'll likely find yourself playing your friend. If role-playing makes you laugh, is it really that scary?